“I’ve often heard people say that humility is thinking that you’re nothing. This, too, is a misguided idea. Humility is about being the right size: not too big, not too small. If the ditch on one side of the humility highway is arrogance, the ditch on the other is timidity. Remember, a truly humble person values themselves the same way they cherish and respect others; as someone who is inherently worthy.”
Darryl Van Tongeren – Humble.
Just over a year ago, I was called to a meeting where my integrity as a leader was (rightfully) called into question. You see, the issues that had come to light were from my past—a past that was unmanageable and, at its worst, had caused harm to myself and others. A past that had led me to the side room of a Quaker hall, broken and confused—looking for answers to the effects of the disease of alcoholism in family members—only to discover that I, too, needed help.
It was the values of honesty, openness, and willingness found in the principles of 12-Step recovery, and my trust in having come to believe that I was infinitely loved by my Higher Power, Jesus, that anchored me during this conversation. These values enabled me to be honest without allowing my identity to be negotiated, nor to play the blame game in the direction of the person that led me there. I was able to practice Right-Sized Leadership. Right-Sized Leadership emerged as the product of a Masters of Professional Practice in Values-Based Leadership. It is a posture of humility, grounded in the values of honesty, openness, and willingness. My research sought to demonstrate the congruence of these values across 12-Step spirituality, the writings of the mystics, biblically and theologically grounded faith communities, and the teachings of Jesus.
Right-Sized Leadership is right-sized to both the context and to the leader who is actively engaged in discipleship and spiritual practices. These practices invite them to see themselves with humility—not too big and not too small. It sustains communities without overburdening individuals, through a value-based, participatory approach that is key to resilience and flourishing. In turn, Right-Sized Leadership releases energy for mission and community impact rather than merely internal survival.
As someone who practices 12-Step spirituality as part of my daily spiritual formation, its integration with my vocational calling as an ordained Anglican priest was important to articulate—particularly given some of the scepticism I have encountered in Christian circles about its legitimacy as a spiritual formation pathway, or even as a Christian programme. In researching this congruence, I was shaped as a Right-Sized leader, learning more about methodologies of values-based leadership and about the biblical and theological foundations of the Church.
Right-Sized Leadership integrates qualitative, action-research approach drawing on my experience, strength and hope found in 12-Step recovery, my ordination formation training, and my lived experience as a faith-based leader. It drew on leadership theory focused on navigational, values-based leadership that is finding its way in a changing leadership landscape. It identifies the gap between large-scale leadership models and smaller, grassroots contexts, with an emphasis on dependence on God, prayer, and self-aware leaders who don’t think too much of themselves, nor too little.
Right-Sized Leadership is not a theology but a posture of leadership — one that has been developed into a discipleship programme and curriculum linked to spiritual practices. This resource is designed to help faith-based leaders, and the communities they lead, to flourish. It proposes a framework for leadership anchored in the values of honesty, openness, and willingness. This approach suggests that leadership is less about roles and titles and more about cultivating a culture grounded in these values and in shared responsibility—one that can sustain faith-based leadership for the long haul.
The practice of Right-Sized Leadership produces shared leadership that reduces burnout and strengthens community impact. It relieves the leadership load that so often exceeds the capacity of a few individuals. By clarifying roles, boundaries, and expectations—and by right-sizing the ego—leaders no longer need to feel secure through a platform of authority. Instead, they can be more present, providing natural leadership anchors with more space to practice community values such as integrity, hospitality, and service.
The ongoing invitation to practice Right-Sized Leadership motivates and sustains me in leadership and makes room for emerging leaders as I move into the second half of my life. I am no longer a slave to others’ opinions, nor is my identity up for negotiation. Ministry is no longer a burden, but a joy. I see signs of life and flourishing in the community I lead, and this gives me hope. This is deeply congruent with the good news of Jesus, with the future of the Church, and with those dedicated to serving her.
If you would like to know more about Right-sized leadership Curriculum, or want to book a free taster Centre for Church Leadership Coaching Session with Jax contact jacquelinejaxclark@gmail.com
